and the arms of the oceans came washing over me.
boards, in less than a week. we perform monday. i’m in the second nine of monologues, and second to last for scenes. have i mentioned this before? oh well. we ran it in front of people yesterday and i had a minor regression. okay, major regression. but i’m getting it back. i know exactly what to do, and now just have to do it. taking control of my life. for sure. working everything out of my monologue today. between juliet and lindsay, i’m determined to be fearless. to make good work. to show what i’m capable of. to show growth. above all, growth.
it’s literally all that occupies my mind. boardsboardsboards. i’ve gone to bed before midnight since coming back to cincy on sunday. i work, and sleep. nothing in between. such joy.
last night, shaun helped me realize a few things inhibiting my work. they were things i ‘knew’ but wasn’t conscious of or would say aloud. taking that from yesterday, i’m moving through the rest of the week with positivity and hope. and sobriety. a lot of that.
dear sweet baby jesus.
i have had enough. if i stumbleupon one more zooey-deschanel-inspired-engaged-to-be-happily-newlywedded-vintage-obsessed-christian-in-morals-never-in-name blogger i will choke on my own spit. my own coffee-tinged spit. and i will prefer it doubly more than any of those blogs. they’re so cute and precious and diy and upcycling and it’s such a community and it offends my bitter-sudo-hipster-nearly-twentysomething-sensibilities.
god, and i get it. i do. i’ve got the twitter and the tumblr and the short hair and the carefully applied makeup and the fantastic collection of dresses. i recycle. i rejoice in biba. i can cateye. i’m so close to being what those bloggers are. i’m so close. do i hate them? of course not. does my cynicism revolt at the sight? of course yes.
the world can only take so much gatdayum cute. between the internet being constantly inundated with baby animals and these women, i will be getting diarrhea of roses and unicorns. and how do they all have husbands? seriously. i can’t even procure a routine cuddlebuddy. let’s not kid ourselves. something is amiss in the universe.
on a positive note. the ulysses reading was last night. in-cre-di-bull. i read for gerty macdowell, prostitute #2, student, katey dedalus, and mrs. breen. focus on the gerty. it was so amazing to read her text. alison is cutting more of the script, because the reading alone was three hours (excepting the seven minutes pee break). but, i can cope. the spring season is going to be amazing. i’d rejoice in either, arcadia or ulysses. and let it be known my winter break will be spent heavily in study for both.
christ, life is good.
today, eyebrows will be waxed. the gym will be attended. i’ll work with garrett for class, and john for boards. finish romeo and juliet so that i can get juliet on her feet (yeah, taking on that lovely for boards…fear for me). and you know, maybe try to stay on top of my work for non-ccm classes.
ha.
maybe.
